the smell of urine will forever be infused to my socks.

only a double chocolate shake can make this better.
I have decided what I will write about. I just hope that I can make this "molly" proud.

I gave in though. That shake was delicious and, you may hate me now, but those apples looked like they had worms in them.

weight today: 207

Sincerley,

Walt

molly?

I would like to start off, this is not molly.

I don't know who molly is or where she is from.

I found this url on a post it note in the restroom in McDonald's. (why I was in McDonalds, I am ashamed to say- i broke down! I needed those meat oil deep fried french fries, yes, I am a wuss).

It said to please write your story, and had the log in and password.

So I (should I use my real name? I wont for now) Walter (is that the best I could come up with?) will document my story. That is, if I can come up with one.

The note said to write my heart out and to be kind. I don't know who molly is or where she is from, but I will do as I was told and write my heart out.

Sincerely,
Walt

now i am really back

sorry about disaperaing like that (again?)
but i had trouble getting to a computer. you want to know how i am?

i am on my own now. u wouldn't even recognize me if you looked at me. my hair was bleached and colored by my friend lola, but we were so high when we tried to cut it it is totally lopsided.

i have lost more wieght, i cant tell u how much i weigh now because i have no way of knowing! but Tripp can almost circle my waist with his hands.

i got myself a job bagging groceries at a little family owned place right in the middle of new york city. even thou i am too young to really work everybody thinks i am 21 so i don't correct them.

life is a whole lot better.
even thou i may not seem like it. i am really happy :D

it has been

much too long.

but it is good to be back.

i tried

to talk to you
and tell you.

but even you wouldn't listen.

i am leaving at the end of month, because this is the second month in a row the rent has not been paid.
we don't know where we are going but hopefully it will be a better place.

but i don't want to leave
they keep tearing me away from every chance that i have at doing anything.
anything at all. and i can't do anything about it.

names they call me

cunt
whore
bitch
piece of shit
idiot
fucker
loser
slut
asshole
douche bag
mommy.


sometimes I just whisper to myself.
molly
molly
molly.

but nobody ever says it.
and nobody ever means it.

they all hate me

they all hate me here.
it is horrible.
i didn't have anything for school and they laughed at my clothes.

everywhere i go i think that i see blake, but it just turns out to be someother strung out kid.
i wish i was gone from here

even back in the truck sleeping at rest stops was better than this.

i want to take a hot shower and i want to sleep in a real bed.
i want to have my brother back.
i want to have a normal life again.

i just want to cry.

it was nice talking to u all.

but we are being sent to go live with my aunt nancy,
or else we will be separated and placed into foster care.


i will try to get online, but i do not even know if she owns a computer.

remember these faces. please.
in case i don't get to.